Mom (moving_on) wrote in broken_vows,

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still around

Hey, all. It's been a while since I've posted, and almost as long since I've read LJ. For some reason LJ can sometimes be depressing - something about my new partner being very involved in LJ and I feel like I need to make sure he's not "cheating" on me in cyberland. For myself LJ is great, but I sometimes would get the urge to check on his LJ and the comments people leave him, and more importantly - the comments he leaves them. Yep, it's gotten us in trouble a bit, but as we work out our relationship he's finding he doesn't have the need to flirt with other LJ people - it's becoming more a tool of friendship and not one of flirtation. I like that. I like that a lot. And I'm getting to where I can also read LJ and not have all those old feelings of fear well up in me.

If anyone has read my LJ you'll notice I started taking Zoloft. I had gotten to be very miserable, but the medication has helped. I think it has certainl helped me to not be obsessed with checking out everything my new partner does. I can now accept that we are very different people and not feel threatened by it. I think I was very strongly co-dependent - probably a common issue when someone has continually broken their vows.

I gave up even trying to work it out with my ex. At this point we talk only once a year - when I need him to take the kids when I go on vacation. However, with the kids aging I was able to leave the oldest home alone for a couple of days - after all....he is 18!

I can hardly believe I said that! How old does that make me?!?! Anyway, I am finding that time does heal most things. I'm learning that I can have the relationship that I want if I'm willing to put the time into it.

Welcome to the new members here. Maybe we can get some discussions going - I am back on line and feeling much more in control of myself. I've even been laughing lately - rather nice, don't you think?
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